To Have And To Hold
by music nimf
Summary: "You deserve better, you know." Yamamoto chuckled lightly, "You're not the first person to tell me that." TYL Implied 8059, RyoHaru


Haru opened up the door cautiously, one hand holding her robe closed and the other a cup of coffee.

"Yamamoto?"

Yamamoto Takeshi looked at her apologetically in a wrinkled suit without the tie.

"Sorry Haru, I just left Hayato's and I didn't feel like going home."

He scratched the back of his neck and grinned tiredly at her, though Haru only gave him a sympathetic look and opened up the door wider so that he could come in. He followed her to the kitchen as she went about preparing tea.

"No need to go through the trouble Haru. I'll just have coffee if you've already made it."

Haru stopped her preparations.

"Hahi?"

She looked at her mug of coffee as if seeing it for the first time, head tilted, then went about preparing another cup.

"Milk?"

"mhm"

"Tell me when…"

"That's good."

"Would you like sugar?"

"No. Thank you Haru."

"No need to thank me."

The two stood against the counter in companionable silence, sipping their coffee.

"You deserve better, you know," Haru stated softly in the silence.

Yamamoto chuckled lightly.

"You're not the first person to tell me that."

Haru gave him a strange look.

"And why haven't you listened?"

"Who could be better than Hayato?"

"Of course," Haru sighed knowingly.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Back when I was after Tsuna-kun, I thought the same thing. I loved him and because of that I felt that there was no one in the world that could make me happier. I thought that if I stuck around long enough that he would eventually love me too and we would both be happier than we've ever been. But of course he never returned those feelings, and the way he pushed me away didn't make me happier. Turns out love doesn't work that way."

Haru smiled fondly into her coffee.

"I don't know Haru. I mean, where could I find another Hayato. He even disapproves of me using his given name in public. Even in Italy!" Yamamoto laughed good naturedly and Haru shook her head.

"Only you would think that an endearing quality."

"It's what makes Hayato Hayato, and I love Hayato. All of him."

"Is that why you put up with this?"

"It's not so bad."

"Who are you trying to fool? Certainly not the person who just invited you into their home because your boyfriend wants you gone before he wakes up." Yamamoto winced at that, but kept his silence. It was the truth after all and Haru was getting into her passionate speech pose.

"Honesty Yamamoto, the way you describe it, it sounds like he's using you. He doesn't let you say his name? He doesn't want to wake up next to you? Let me guess, he doesn't want to kiss you outside of sex and he won't spend time with you outside of work or the bedroom."

Yamamoto's glance sideways and his continued silence confirmed her suspicion. Haru sneered in disgust.

"He doesn't want to love you so he keeps your 'relationship' on a purely sexual level. It's all he needs to get what he wants. He uses you because you're willing and resilient and you love him and he wants to feel loved. It's likely that he loves someone else, or at least thinks he does, someone he can't have and uses you in a pathetic attempt to fill the gap."

Yamamoto slammed the empty mug on the counter, cutting off Haru's accusations. He looked straight ahead, eyes narrowed and teeth clinched. Silence rang through the kitchen. Haru looked at him calmly and unrelenting, knowing that her words had an effect. She hadn't been preparing to become a mafia wife for nothing.

"You don't know Haru. I'm a fool and I'm willing to risk it all to get what I want. That's the way we've always been. He pushes and I pull. Neither one of us is good with emotions, and I know that Hayato just has a hard time showing that he cares. He may not do it often, but when he kisses me, it feels like love and I can't forget that."

"Even if it turns out that he does love you, that doesn't change what he's doing to you right now. Right now he is using you and you deserve better. If the day does come when he realizes that he loves you, then let it be his loss. He'll have to deal with the consequences of his actions, just like everyone else. There are plenty of fish in the sea and you can find happiness like you've always dreamed. Don't let your potential for happiness be stifled because of stubbornness. It will do you no good in the long run and it hurts the people who care about you and want to see you happy when they see you like this."

"But what about you? You're in love right now too. Surely there are sacrifices that you have made. All your moments together can't be pleasant."

"Hahi? Ryo-kun and Haru are different. I love him and he loves me. I look forward to spending time with him and getting to know more about him. Sure, some of the things Haru learns aren't pleasant and I'm sure that there are things about Haru that Ryo-kun disapproves of, but we both learn to accommodate with them in order to be happy together. That's the difference between your relationship and mine, mutual respect and love. We both want each other equally. Not just for sex or that in-love feeling, but as a companion and a trusted friend. We work things out in the hope that we'll find that we want to be together for the rest of our lives."

"That may work for you but"

"But what Yamamoto? You can't tell me that you don't want any of that. That when you fell in love that you had no hope for the future. Isn't that hope exactly what you have been waiting for Gokudera-kun to feel?"

Yamamoto's shoulders slumped but his expression didn't soften, mouth set in a grim line.

"I don't want to believe it, you know? I know that Hayato cares about me somehow, even with the way he treats me. I had just always hoped that he would show it to me some day. When we started all of this I thought that his feelings would grow, but it seems like they've done the opposite. We don't even talk like we used to when we were just friends."

Yamamoto closed his eyes as if defeated.

"Do you really think that I should end it?"

"Yes. I truly do. It's for the best."

Haru placed one of her hands on top of his and smiled at him in a comforting way. They sat there in silence for a while until they heard the slam of the front door.

"Haru-chan, are you up!"

Haru looked dismayed at her boyfriend's yell and Yamamoto took on a slightly amused look.

"Dear, if I wasn't awake before THEN YOUR YELL CERTAINLY WOULD HAVE DONE IT!"

Ryohei just walked into the kitchen cheerfully, clad in sweats from his morning run.

"Oh Haru, so you are up." He gave her a peck on the lips and she smiled despite herself. Ryohei turned his attention to the man next to her.

"Oi, Takeshi. What are you doing here?" He looked him up and down. "Hayato kick you out again?"

Yamamoto smiled ashamedly at him and scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah pretty much."

"You know, you should probably find someone else," he said offhandedly while walking over to help Haru make breakfast.

"Yeah, I know." Ryohei stopped mid step and looked at the other man in surprise. Yamamoto had his head down and wasn't meeting his gaze. Ryohei turned a questioning look toward his girlfriend who just smiled mysteriously at him.

"Sorry dear, that's between Yamamoto and me. Girl talk, you know"

"Geez Haru, liking a guy doesn't make me a woman."

"HAHA! If Takeshi were a woman, Haru would be jealous because of all the time we spend together in Italy and Japan."

"And the Americas."

Ryohei got stars in his eyes and clinched his fist while Yamamoto broke out into his blissfully oblivious smile at the memory. Both guardians were so impressed by the popularity of both boxing and baseball in North and South America that they made a habit of taking all the missions there together.

"EXTREME!"

"Yeah, haha."

Haru looked on flustered at the two grown men regressing to adolescence in front of her. She huffed and pouted. She was a little jealous of the two even if Yamamoto wasn't a woman. Haru set down her knife and wrapped a possessive arm around her boyfriend, a suspicious look on her face the entire time.

"Haha, isn't this nostalgic?" Yamamoto said still smiling pleasantly, noticing the younger traits in his friends.

"Hey Ryohei, want to go for another run?" Yamamoto's face was still smiling, but his tone had become suggestive. Haru trained a laser scope death glare on him. Ryohei snapped out of his daze with a confused expression, not noticing Haru's glare or Yamamoto's tone.

"Eh, sure." Ryohei looked at the now by his side Haru pleasantly, but blanched at the deadly glint in her eyes

"Or maybe not. I think Haru has plans for us today?" He said hopefully. Yamamoto pushed off the counter he was leaning on with a smirk that Haru didn't miss and wrapped his arm around Ryohei's shoulder from the opposite side as his girlfriend. He grinned widely and avoided Haru's teeth.

"Oh come on, I just decided to break up with my boyfriend. I could use a good work out to take my mind off of it. Haru will understand. Right Haru?" She bared her teeth.

"Besides I may meet someone while we're out. What did Haru say? Ah, plenty of fish in the sea. Though I do have a thing for silver hair, but the only ones I know with such a strange trait are Hayato and you." Yamamoto smiled pleasantly. Ryohei seemed to be in shock. Haru couldn't take it anymore.

"Get your hands off my boyfriend Yamamoto!" She pushed his arm from around Ryohei's shoulder and pushed him back against the counter.

"When I said to move on, I didn't mean," but then she saw his face. He was smiling with that sad look in his eyes again.

Haru's expression went from outrage to concern to understanding all too quickly. Something clicked in Haru's mind as she realized what Yamamoto had just said a moment ago. It seemed that the work out wasn't the only thing Yamamoto was using to take his mind off of his impending breakup. She could take a little teasing, she figured. Haru smiled and turned away from Yamamoto.

"You can go on your run Ryo-kun. But both of you will have to wait until after breakfast. Ryo-kun?"

"You…you broke up with Hayato?"

"No, I haven't yet, but I'm going to. Soon." Ryohei put his forefinger and thumb on each of his temples, closed his eyes, and let out a sigh. Yamamoto looked at him sympathetically. Seeing her boyfriend like this reminded Haru for the first time that the break up would affect more than just the couple and a few close friends. Haru didn't know too much about the workings of the Vongola, but she knew that Gokudera and Yamamoto were somehow important. And they always worked together, right? How much would the dynamic change?

Ryohei brought his gaze back up to meet Yamamoto's determinedly. He walked closer to the man and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I think you're doing the right thing," he said sternly but then smiled.

"I want you to be happy. And that Octopus Head when he figures out what he wants."

Yamamoto held a slightly baffled blank look at having Haru's previous words confirmed. Somehow Ryohei's words seemed to make the situation less dreadful. He was reminded of when people told him that his smile was reassuring. People too always said that Ryohei's gave them a brighter outlook.

"Haha! You really are the sun!"

Haru and Ryohei just looked at him confused before deciding that it didn't really matter if they understood. They smiled privately to each other, then Haru went to prepare breakfast and Ryohei went to sit at the living room table.

"Come on Takeshi, have a seat. You can at least have breakfast with us since I'll have to miss out on that run."

"I already said that you could go Ryo-kun. I swear, you never listen to me," Haru huffed.

"Eh, you did? What? HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN?"

"Calm down Ryo-kun. You're being rude to our guest. Would you like some tea Yamamoto?"

"Yes, if it's no trouble," he said knowing that she had already started brewing it. Haru went back to work in the kitchen.

"Hey Takeshi, I just noticed. Haru still calls you Yamamoto even though she's known you for so long." Yamamoto smiled brightly at him.

"I noticed that too and I asked her to call me by my given name but she refused. She said that it just doesn't feel right 'treating Ryo-kun's Family so informally' even though she calls Tsuna by his name. Haha!"

"Is that so?"

"Yep, so all you have to do is marry her."

"hmm…WHAT?"

"Yep, she said that she would start calling me Takeshi when she finally becomes part of the Family. You know, she's been dead set on this mafia wife thing since she was after Tsuna."

"Haru wa-wants me to marry her? I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS TO THE EXTREME!"

Yamamoto just nodded and Ryohei sat gaping like a fish. This is when Haru decided to enter the room with two cups of tea.

"Hahi? Did I miss something?" Ryohei just turned his gaping expression from Yamamoto to Haru. Yamamoto kept smiling.

"We were talking about your relationship."

"Oh, is something wrong?" Haru questioned worriedly and slightly threatening. Ryohei snapped out of his stupor and turned an exasperated look towards his fellow guardian.

"Hey don't make this about me! Aren't you here to talk about your relationship?"

"But my relationship is over, and yours is just beginning."

"What are you talking about Yamamoto? Ryo-kun and I have been dating for two years. Unless you're talking about…" Haru blushed and turned back toward the kitchen determinedly, but could not keep the dreamy tone out of her voice.

"I'll just leave you two to talk. I think I'll call and see if Kyoko-chan is up yet." Then she walked back into the kitchen a little faster than normal. In her wake she left a speechless Ryohei and a still smiling Yamamoto.

"So how are you going to ask her?"

Ryohei sighed.

"Did you really have to use this to distract you from Hayato? You're going to have to face him eventually."

"Yeah, I know, but I still have the morning." Ryohei frowned. He wasn't sure that he liked this destructive, problem avoiding Yamamoto. Love really did make people act irrationally.

"I wonder if Kyoko wants to start a family early. But she's talking to Haru right now or sleeping. That's okay, Tsuna should know. I'll give him a call."

"Eh! Kyoko-chan h-having a baby? Wa-wait. Don't call the Boss."

"Yo, Tsuna."

**End**

a/n: Another old story uploaded. I just went through a breakup and felt like putting this on the site. Hope you enjoyed it. Reviews always appreciated.


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